A spiritual kingdom lies all about us, enclosing us, embracing us, altogether within reach of our inner selves, waiting for us to recognize it.

-A.W. Tozer, The Pursuit of God

A New England Labor Day

My sincere apologies.  It was my intention to write about my Labor Day weekend within the week after Labor Day.  But labor kicked in and here I am, two weeks later. If you are looking for timely updates, this is not the spot.

Athena, a friend from church, and I had mutual friends getting married north of Boston over Labor Day, and we decided the wedding was a brilliant opportunity to take a road trip, read Harry Potter aloud to one another in the car, and explore New England. Our mutual friend, John, had another friend, Claire, who wanted to come to the wedding but didn’t have a ride, so we ended up taking a her along with us.  Since she had never met either of us, we decided that reading Harry Potter aloud might not be the best idea. But after spending several hours in the car with her, I think she might have been game.

I must pause and mention that on the way up we crashed at Sarah’s place. Sarah and I grew up in the same church in Mena. She made us a scrumptious dinner, followed by a strawberry chocolate goodness cake and The Three Amigos. It was such a treat.  And we all loved getting to know Jackson!  My favorite part of the evening was when Jackson ran over to Athena and threw both of his hands right into her plate of food.  I could not stop laughing. I need more kids in my life.

The next morning we headed to Ipswich, Ma., checked into our BnB, and made it just in time for the wedding. The wedding was beautiful, and we had a great time at the reception. It’s always wonderful to be a part of such a special event in friends’ lives.

After the next morning’s breakfast at the BnB, we made a slight detour to Salem, Ma., for curiosity’s sake.  The Salem Witch Museum did not disappoint.  It was such an (cough) interesting museum. The tour of the museum starts in a big dark room, and as a narrator tells the story of the Salem Witch Trials, lights shine on various still mannequins. For those Gilmore Girls fans, it was just like that museum in Stars Hollow, except much creepier.

After Salem, we hit Boston. This was my first time in Boston – first time in New England, actually – and I loved it. Granted I only spent about 6 hours there, but I think it’s the kind of place I could live.  You know, a place where everybody knows your name (Sorry, I couldn’t resist).  But yes, it was wonderful.  We ate Italian food in the North End, walked the Freedom Trail through historic sites, went to the Boston Commons and got my picture with Robert McCloskey’s “Make Way for Ducklings” statue, and had my first cannoli at Mike’s.  Delightful.

I blend in.

Click here for more pictures.

Nothing makes me happier…

…than Karli in a canoe in the middle of the Potomac River.

This photo was taken after this conversation*:

Karli: You mean, I have to turn around?

Me: (laughing hysterically, causing the canoe to rock)

Karli: You revel in my pain. Don’t you?

*I’m fairly sure this is how the “conversation” went. But I have a bad memory, so Karli may need to correct.

The Case for Marriage

As a single, mid-20s person, the recent cover of Christianity Today, titled “The Case for Early Marriage,” caught my attention. On a time crunch I skimmed the article and decided to return to it later.  A couple days later, a friend emailed me the link to the article.  And then two days ago, another brought up the article at dinner.  So tonight I sat down, tried to read with an open mind, and marked up the article with my red pen.  I love red pens.  Any colored pen, really.

Mark Regnerus argues that instead of messaging abstinence and marrying late, evangelicals should encourage early marriage (starting at age 20).  Read his very interesting article before you read my take. It’s true: We have done a poor job at talking about sex in the Church in a way that is healthy and holy, and we do live in a culture that is continually encouraging delayed marriage. The result: We are having sex and getting married later, if at all.

I agreed with much of what Regnerus said – much more than I thought I would. However, I do have concerns with the way in which a crusade for early marriages would play out.  I don’t think encouraging young marriage is the best way to fix the “marriage crisis” we created for ourselves. It’s far too simplistic.

Regnerus says that in focusing so much on abstinence before marriage, we have failed to teach people how to get married. Agreed. We need to feel more comfortable talking about sex in church, and we need to talk about it differently (see “Real Sex” by Lauren Winner). We need to talk about singleness and why it is good.  We need to teach people how to get married (I would attend that seminar), and we need to do it in a way that allows people to be ready for it when they are ready for it.  A holistic approach is key.

Young marriages can and do work, but the young couple must be ready. Many are not. I hate to bash my own generation, but is it possible that we are marrying later because we are not maturing at the same rate as generations before us? Perhaps we should start with developing strong, effective young disciples. When we see mature young adults who are single, we should encourage dating with more than lip service (Set them up on dates!). And when we find those young disciples in relationships with another, we should encourage them to consider marriage.  Some will be more ready than others (particularly those closer to the age 20 side of things), and we should be ready and committed to support (financially, emotionally, etc) those marriages. They will need it.

We shouldn’t slap a marry-early Bandaid over a fractured view of marriage. We also don’t want to replace a bad set of marketing and messaging with an equally destructive set. We should be a people that encourages marriages – good, strong, healthy marriages – for those who marry young, those who marry late, those who have been married two months, and those who have been married 20 years. Because like Regnerus says, “The importance of Christian marriage as a symbol of God’s covenantal faithfulness to his people – and a witness to the future union of Christ and his bride – will only grow in significance as the wider Western culture diminishes both the meaning and actual practice of marriage. Marriage itself will become a witness to the gospel.”

Amortentia

I proudly wore my Harry Potter scarf (Yes, it did take me seven months to complete.) to see the movie “Harry Potter and the Half-blood Prince”.  I wasn’t able to catch the movie on its opening weekend when the HP fanatics are out.  I think I might have fit in well with them. I do love Harry Potter.